Xanga used to be the thing, and in a lot of ways it was useful....until Facebook/Twitter started taking over.  But I realized that one thing that xanga actually produced quite a bit of was thoughtful output of what was going on in peoples' minds and worlds....whether it was meaningless or quite meaningful....

Granted, for some, their blogs consisted of saying "hey cool I got these shoes," which translates more easily to simply putting that in someone's facebook feed, but I realized today looking at my xanga subscriptions that I genuinely miss reading what used to be a plentiful stream of fairly thoughtful or insightful writing from peoples' inner worlds....

Anyhow, leaving to China in a week....so I'm furiously working to finish a semlink (work at your own pace within a given time period) class before I leave, and trying to get in the best shape possible before I leave and eat a variety of delicious but probably unhealthy foods while I'm in Asia.

Perhaps I've written something stimulating?  Perhaps not.

Is there really satisfaction, or only temporary distraction?

Is it ok to be wholly unsatisfied with the universe as it is?

Everything you want becomes dust as it slips through your fingers and fades into a thin shell of the potential you once thought.

Even as good things come, they seem to not be good enough.  In fact, the "is".... existence itself seems pale and thin.  Unconvincing.

You suddenly come to yourself as you are watching TV or playing video games.... or as fantasize for the 100th time about why if you just had someone or something more you'd get satisfaction.  You realize it's entirely untrue, and then you are once again face to face with nothing but....well...

you.

I live for God because there is really nothing else to live for that will not become dust when I finally touch it.  It's the only hope for the relationship that will possibly not end in disappointment when it actualizes in its fullness. 

It's the only promise that seems to make me want to continue.